on being ME

I’m not easy to break, but i’ve been hurt in the past...i love to be seen but desperately cling to the fantasy of having someone see more than everyone else does. Maybe someday you’ll see me as more than just a quick act of exhibitionism..but until then, i’ll rock your world, i’d like to see you try and work me. Calling me difficult is an understatement. Believe me, it’s got nothing to do with luck, or my mood. If i like you, i like you. I’ll tell you if i don’t..rejection is the greatest turn-on, but playing hard to get won’t get you anywhere. I love a conflicted lifestyle, contradiction and sometimes dysfunction. I’ve never claim to be a saint. I live my life for me, not for you. I live for today not yesterday. I don’t have time for regret. You want to call me an asswhole or a jerk for attention? Go ahead. Judgement is hypocracy, we all have our vices. I fucking LOVE My life. Myself. The rumors are true. Damn! I know what it is to want, have , and lose everything. So see me for the tradegy (you think) I am today. So much more than just a train wreck life. I’ll do shots of whisky on my knees, pulling my shirt back over my head. Give it five minutes till the pants drop again and i find myself secluded with another lost, confused, non-self-respecting slut...I’ll probably forgot your name...