fuck it

im just in the office and waiting for kate's ym message for interviews. got a forwarded text message from a friend about some "lovestuff". ugh...

so...to you what is love?

for me, love is a feeling that i simply cannot describe, a word that makes you speechless... a question of thought...? possibly... but you see, some use that word because they mean it... and some use it just to use it... and if you just use it without putting your full thought into it... that causes broken hearts and run down feelings, depression of loneliness...agree?hehehe

using that word you need to be positive that you can say it without holding back any feeling of regret... all you need to be focused on is the feeling of caring, which we call the true-ness of the reason of being with that one that makes you complete... you just have to use it to the extensive right of knowing that you will be loved by the one you chose to love... whether for future references of life... or just for any purpose at all (your purpose of knowing)... because we chose the train to ride in... but the relationship itself chooses the tracks of path... and we all know... it always takes two or three or four in a relationship hahahahaha kidding...for a fact i know we all want to be with the one that we want to love and cherish, and not to mention doing anything beyond the standards of normal... and of course we would want that in return... that same train of thought... those same feelings... & those same words... it's just a given... and the best thing in the world is not being able to love that one... but for that one to being able to love you... just that perfect way...

fuck it, marky....too mushy....eww!

tryin

28may

its my birthday today! . thank you to everyone who sent birthday greetings through text and phonecalls. well, if you will ask me whats up sa b-day ko? wala. im working sa office sa araw ng kaarawan ko dont have a choice hehehe living independently takes a lot of hardwork and responsibility. i am sad na wala ang family ko dito pero i am making the most out of it & there are so many things to be thankful for.

working in/and for call center is not really my cup of capuccino. i am not good in grammar cos i really hate to be technical. wala lang choice hehehe mahirap makapasok sa advertising/media. minsan baka mababa pa sahod mo. basta ok lg yung mga kasama mo sa work...madadala ka. I think it’s very imperative that living life to the fullest would be great, but it’s difficult to do so when you have so much on your mind. its not the fact of me thinking i have problems and i know i dont compare myself to others that im better, i just wish many things would fall into place... such as career and mainly just life in general... and all i keep on hearing from others is to be patient, and they say good things come to those who wait... but, what if you wait to long? will it pass you up? the opportunities? the life? or the greatness...?

it's not my place to try to tell you how to live your life, but my place to try to get you thinking about how life has its challenges, im just tired of sitting around waiting for great opportunities to pass me by, whether its opportunity, or just a great hobby...everyone lives their life differently, and especially at this age, its difficult to try to change someone’s attitude and the way they think...

its just a matter of a question, that can simply change the minds that choose to come up with the answer, while others choose the easy way and avoiding it...

traffic

after watching Entourage in hbo last night, i had this thought and stucked in that moment.

"let's find peace in this circle while bleeding each other."

another nonsense thought hehehe pero you know kung ano at sino pa ang nonsense? ang traffic sa ortigas extension! grabe! notice ko lang...mas lalong lumalala yung traffic pagmay mga police and traffic aides?! they just cannot deliver their duties. whew. frustrating.

old people

sometimes i forget where im going. you see.... the thing is all of you move so slowly.... and blood is thin these days, unlike molasses, but foggy minds and cloudy glass still make moves for strain to slack. tds letters written in pen and ink lack luster the in stories one has been told. new found hills of color and craze cause for dropped time in dark old house cafes. stir the milk in my cereal and lose the sugar in slow certificates of spoons as they pass open windows and cobblestones. lips and the blue in my apartment are roughened by multi-colored muscles as they twist and turn in elongated movements of married delicacy. care bears and candied apples live in homes of relics while dragons and stolen dreams are chased by fiends of foolery. lose yourself amongst the sand.

anxiously traumatic

my sister just fled...i mean she went home in iloilo so i have the 'freedom' na to go out (woohoo...partay!). but i missed her na. kadaldalan niya, pagka-brat niya. by the way, just check my other accounts for pictures. blogs na lang po dito sa blogspot ko. anyway, she had fun while she was in manila. i guess.

now, it's a freakin boring wednesday. tomorrow will be american idol finals. daming anxious na who will be the freakin winner. and i am pretty sure some of my co-workers will be absent.

you guys are also aware of what happened in china. the images on tv are very frustrating. their grappling with the next massive task in the aftermath of its earthquake — how to shelter the 5 million people left homeless. god help them. then, napaisip ako, what if after a few years, lahat ng "made in china" stuff, galing pala sa remains ng mga namatay sa earthquake? cos a lot of chinese people were so angry dahil sa traumatic experiences nila...they want revenge! gusto din nila yung ibang countries mag-suffer. they will put "dead rotten stuff" sa mga food na "made in china". tapos knowing pa mga filipinos na mahilig sa mga murang gamit? what if chinese people now are planning for massive massacre?

just random thoughts and musings that might hold some relevance some of the time. but yeah, most of the time i am just talking nonsense.

silent run

some things are better left unsaid.

tip-toed

i am not happy. with my life. with work. there is always something missing. it's superficial.