fuck it

im just in the office and waiting for kate's ym message for interviews. got a forwarded text message from a friend about some "lovestuff". ugh...

so...to you what is love?

for me, love is a feeling that i simply cannot describe, a word that makes you speechless... a question of thought...? possibly... but you see, some use that word because they mean it... and some use it just to use it... and if you just use it without putting your full thought into it... that causes broken hearts and run down feelings, depression of loneliness...agree?hehehe

using that word you need to be positive that you can say it without holding back any feeling of regret... all you need to be focused on is the feeling of caring, which we call the true-ness of the reason of being with that one that makes you complete... you just have to use it to the extensive right of knowing that you will be loved by the one you chose to love... whether for future references of life... or just for any purpose at all (your purpose of knowing)... because we chose the train to ride in... but the relationship itself chooses the tracks of path... and we all know... it always takes two or three or four in a relationship hahahahaha kidding...for a fact i know we all want to be with the one that we want to love and cherish, and not to mention doing anything beyond the standards of normal... and of course we would want that in return... that same train of thought... those same feelings... & those same words... it's just a given... and the best thing in the world is not being able to love that one... but for that one to being able to love you... just that perfect way...

fuck it, marky....too mushy....eww!

tryin

28may

its my birthday today! . thank you to everyone who sent birthday greetings through text and phonecalls. well, if you will ask me whats up sa b-day ko? wala. im working sa office sa araw ng kaarawan ko dont have a choice hehehe living independently takes a lot of hardwork and responsibility. i am sad na wala ang family ko dito pero i am making the most out of it & there are so many things to be thankful for.

working in/and for call center is not really my cup of capuccino. i am not good in grammar cos i really hate to be technical. wala lang choice hehehe mahirap makapasok sa advertising/media. minsan baka mababa pa sahod mo. basta ok lg yung mga kasama mo sa work...madadala ka. I think it’s very imperative that living life to the fullest would be great, but it’s difficult to do so when you have so much on your mind. its not the fact of me thinking i have problems and i know i dont compare myself to others that im better, i just wish many things would fall into place... such as career and mainly just life in general... and all i keep on hearing from others is to be patient, and they say good things come to those who wait... but, what if you wait to long? will it pass you up? the opportunities? the life? or the greatness...?

it's not my place to try to tell you how to live your life, but my place to try to get you thinking about how life has its challenges, im just tired of sitting around waiting for great opportunities to pass me by, whether its opportunity, or just a great hobby...everyone lives their life differently, and especially at this age, its difficult to try to change someone’s attitude and the way they think...

its just a matter of a question, that can simply change the minds that choose to come up with the answer, while others choose the easy way and avoiding it...

traffic

after watching Entourage in hbo last night, i had this thought and stucked in that moment.

"let's find peace in this circle while bleeding each other."

another nonsense thought hehehe pero you know kung ano at sino pa ang nonsense? ang traffic sa ortigas extension! grabe! notice ko lang...mas lalong lumalala yung traffic pagmay mga police and traffic aides?! they just cannot deliver their duties. whew. frustrating.

old people

sometimes i forget where im going. you see.... the thing is all of you move so slowly.... and blood is thin these days, unlike molasses, but foggy minds and cloudy glass still make moves for strain to slack. tds letters written in pen and ink lack luster the in stories one has been told. new found hills of color and craze cause for dropped time in dark old house cafes. stir the milk in my cereal and lose the sugar in slow certificates of spoons as they pass open windows and cobblestones. lips and the blue in my apartment are roughened by multi-colored muscles as they twist and turn in elongated movements of married delicacy. care bears and candied apples live in homes of relics while dragons and stolen dreams are chased by fiends of foolery. lose yourself amongst the sand.

anxiously traumatic

my sister just fled...i mean she went home in iloilo so i have the 'freedom' na to go out (woohoo...partay!). but i missed her na. kadaldalan niya, pagka-brat niya. by the way, just check my other accounts for pictures. blogs na lang po dito sa blogspot ko. anyway, she had fun while she was in manila. i guess.

now, it's a freakin boring wednesday. tomorrow will be american idol finals. daming anxious na who will be the freakin winner. and i am pretty sure some of my co-workers will be absent.

you guys are also aware of what happened in china. the images on tv are very frustrating. their grappling with the next massive task in the aftermath of its earthquake — how to shelter the 5 million people left homeless. god help them. then, napaisip ako, what if after a few years, lahat ng "made in china" stuff, galing pala sa remains ng mga namatay sa earthquake? cos a lot of chinese people were so angry dahil sa traumatic experiences nila...they want revenge! gusto din nila yung ibang countries mag-suffer. they will put "dead rotten stuff" sa mga food na "made in china". tapos knowing pa mga filipinos na mahilig sa mga murang gamit? what if chinese people now are planning for massive massacre?

just random thoughts and musings that might hold some relevance some of the time. but yeah, most of the time i am just talking nonsense.

silent run

some things are better left unsaid.

tip-toed

i am not happy. with my life. with work. there is always something missing. it's superficial.

panic attack

yesterday, i was on leave cos i accompanied my sister in makati. she took the nclex exam (for nurses who want to go abroad). we got up so early cos i hate traffic. yokong ma-late at baka ma-hassle pa kami. dumating kami sa makati, sobrang early pa so we decided to have breakfast first. atleast, may time pa sister ko mag-muni-muni and familiarize the area =) hope she'll do great sa exam.

while she's taking her exam, naglibot ako sa makati. super busy cos we all know that makati is the central business district. nakaka-praning yung mga traffic rules nila. parang every step, nag-iisip ka kung tama ang dinadaanan mo hahaha im so not comfortable walking down that fucking district. then, medyo napagod ako sa kaka-ikot. i took some photos by the way. napagod ako at tumambay sa starbux at naka-tulog hahaha...after nun, kumain kami sa glorietta cos yun yung pinaka-malapit na mall. my sister ate like a man, she was starving lol. talking about anxiety.

today, it's one of my bestfriends B-day. Happy Birthday Ali! parang kelan lang tayo nagkakilala sa amber =) ok lang kung single ka pa hehehe wag mag-panic. =) may blessing ka na di ba? ;-P

far from home

it's mother's day. there is no way we can ever really thank our mother for all she does for us nevertheless we must make it a habit to keep reminding ourselves of the various sacrifices she made while raising us. nay/mom/iloy, i thank god for having such a mom like you. you are just not like the other moms. love you.

me, kurt and my sister ashley went to st. jude in manila area to attend the mass. its been awhile. hope HE can still hear me coz i know & i can feel i am too far from HIM.

CARS

and i am not talking about the animated film. well, it was very interesting coz the other night, nakabangga ng kotse si kurt hahaha it was a fun night. atleast hinde boring yung gabi hehehe...binangga ng hyundai getz ang lumang honda civic and guess what? yupi ang honda civic sa small awesome car. unbelievable. buy a new car kurt! =P pumunta pa kami sa cainta police station (which by the way looks like a shithole). then the next day, we watched speed racer. interesting right? after the banggaan momentos hehehe. the film was fun. it was just okay. i am a fan of emile hirsch. he will be the next pacino or de niro for me. speed racer brilliantly photographed and edited. they call movies like this eye candy because they don't necessarily seek to nourish. nevertheless, when they turn out looking like this, they can taste pretty good for empty calories. the wachowski brothers' big-screen, big-budget adaptation of the popular speed racer anime series is like the willy wonka of racing movies hahaha. but it drags painfully.

not really missing testing

one of my co-worker, i mean the one who's handling the 'test administration' is absent today. so i woke up early kasi ako ang papalit sa kanya. it's been awhile i arrived in the office ng maaga. nakaka-miss din pala hehehe pero mas gusto ko pa rin ang shift ko which is 10am-7pm =) best part of this morning, i had my favorite hot drink from coffee bean =) i took some pictures pa sa ortigas habang nagmumuni-muni hehehe except for the nasty early morning heat, i couldn't have imagined a better morning.

kind of enchanting ironed weekend

last saturday, we went to enchanted kingdom. together with my sister ashley, her friend shelly, my good friends kurt and grace. we really had fun especially sa rio grande na 2 beses kami sumakay hehehe thanks to grace for my new cool boardshorts. kahit ilang beses na ako nakapunta sa EK, iba pa rin pag-themepark =) parang nawala stress ko. kahit na umuulan nung hapon, it did not stop us para sumakay sa ibang rides. saya! we got home almost midnight na. hinatid pa kasi namin sina shelly sa p'que and grace sa sampaloc. then sunday, we went to galleria for my haircut then tiendesitas for some dogstuff. we went to eastwood to watch ironman. here:
"Tony Stark is a billionaire industrialist and genius inventor who is kidnapped and forced to build a devastating weapon. Instead, using his intelligence and ingenuity, Tony builds a high-tech suit of armor and escapes captivity. When he uncovers a nefarious plot with global implications, he dons his powerful armor and vows to protect the world as Iron Man."
with such smarts and outstanding special effects, i eagerly await a second Iron Man movie, which of course is virtually promised in the final scene. you have to stay. patapusin niyo muna yung movie credits kasi may exciting na conclusion. can't wait.

araw ng weirdong manggagawa

i told you guys earlier that my sis ashley is here in manila because of some ‘nurse stuff’ she’s going to take-slash-do. i know it’s Labor Day but I have no choice (huhuhu) but to accompany her in one of her ‘girly rituals’. sinamahan ko siya magpagupit..aaargh. we went to galleria and then nagpagupit siya sa toni&guy. i waited inside the salon for almost 2 hours and a half. it was like waiting inside tds from 8am til 5pm with no applicants. kill boredom! i just can’t leave her coz she’s so bratinella. afterwhich, i pigged out with my favorite chinese food. thank you god….
tapos, punta kami ng podium after para bumili ng baby stuff for my ‘coming nephew’. i was so happy and excited pumili ng mga baby stuff hehehehe…
pero all day, i am thinking na sana dalhin mo ako sa isang lugar kung saan ka…at maglalakad tayo na hinde napapagod ang mga tuhod natin sa kakaabot sa mga tala…see? weirdo me. sama mo ako..